Merry Christmas! We've Raised Over $2000 for City Harvest! Plus, my cat sings Jingle Bells!

by Paul on December 24, 2012

Post image for Merry Christmas! We've Raised Over $2000 for City Harvest! Plus, my cat sings Jingle Bells!

Christmas Spirit is one of those unquantifiables. We want that feeling of warmth, community, generosity, but the months turn cold, the bustle doesn’t relent, and the Duane Reade radio station is just BAD. Fortunately, like so many wintry things, the spirit is contagious. New York might have lost power, but we, the eighth year of The Christmas Club, generated Christmas Spirit like ConEd’s 14th Street command center gone supernova.

Icicle face: Averted

Icicle face: Averted

You can’t put a dollar sign in front of that, but you might be interested to know we’ve donated more than $2000 to City Harvest this

year! It costs City Harvest 27¢ to deliver a pound of food. With our donation alone they will put more than 7,400 pounds of food into the hands of the hungry.

Really can’t go overboard about the timeliness of all this giving. This is still a recession, and the destruction wrought by Hurricane Sandy put many over the edge. Our charity, City Harvest, is one of the biggest and best local resources of its kind, rescuing and donating food to hungry New Yorkers. Just since Sandy they’ve collected 6.6 MILLION pounds of food, dispensing it through continued hurricane relief operations, soup kitchens and shelters.

Online fundraising for The Christmas Club Supports City Harvest 2012

More good news: if you forgot, our Christmas Club fundraiser on Razoo doesn’t end until New Year’s. You’ve got some Obamacare tax conspiracy you wanna dodge, right? Feed the world! Let them know it’s Christmas time!

Plus, should you get bored of Christmas with the Rat Pack the third time through, we’re rounding out the 2012 Christmas Club EP by my friends and yours, The Good Tidings. “Jingle Bells” features F.O. the Canadian B. Li Cornfeld and my brother “the talented Snyder” John, with a ca-meow appearance by the melodic miniature miss Mae, and a weird sign-off by my Dad, ‘ere he drove out of sight.

Bit of trivia: Did you know “Jingle Bells” originally entered the Billboard Hot 100 in 1857 as a Thanksgiving song called “One Horse Open Sleigh”? And that the word “jingle” appears as an buy cheap cialis online imperative verb since sleighs used to get into accidents on account of being too quiet? Can you believe there used to be songs for Thanksgiving? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Freely stream and download the rest of this year’s EP including the humorous, harmonious vocalizations of Ian Crowther, Carrie Cheek, Jason Schreiber and some zoo animals we keep locked up at Lost Planet NY.

Alright. I love you. I mean it. Get back to your Christmas feeling great about yourselves.

DMX is King Moonracer from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

by Paul on December 10, 2012

Post image for DMX is King Moonracer from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

“Sorry, I printed the lyrics of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,” begins the Power 105.1 DJ.

“I KNOW THE LYRICS!” cries DMX, busting out a beatbox and accompanying Rudolph performance that viagra online goes viral the moment it leaves his lips.

He does get a little carried away with his interjections of “C’MON”, “FOREVER” and his trademark “WHAT”, and accidentally switches Rudolph’s role from “guide” to “ride my sleigh tonight”. But

it might be a bit of intentional innuendo. That’s how Ruff Ryders roll.

DMX is just a kid at heart. A kid that loves Christmas, and Cocoa Puff sweet bitches. (Incidentally this is a man with TEN kids of his own.)

So naturally the internet (YouTube user Andrew Spena) got to work transforming the rapper into the King of the Island of Misfit Toys, King Moonracer from the classic Rankin-Bass 1964 TV Rudolph special.

No, he’s not Snoop Lion. He’s got wings. He’s a DMX Griffin.

Mariah Carey, The Roots and Jimmy Fallon Endearingly Flub "All I Want for Christmas is You"

by Paul on December 5, 2012

Mechanical Reproduction, eg. the “orgasmatron” in Woody Allen’s Sleeper

I love Christmas music. I’m no musician, but I love learning to play Christmas music, because by and large, it’s easy. The songs are simple and indelible. “Silent Night” would never have been passed down through nearly 200 years of culture if the chords changed every note like an Elvis Costello song. And look, Elvis Costello is great, but he is lucky we live in The Age of Mechanical Reproduction.

Now Jimmy Fallon, whom I understand has some kind of talk show, was introduced to the world as the Saturday Night Live cast member who couldn’t handle it. He was charming, but he was more famous for his inability to stand next to Horatio Sanz without breaking down and tearing off his facial hair.

On the other hand, with the inclusion of The Roots, Fallon’s edition of Late Night does have something pretty credible — no offense, Max Weinberg 7 — a

band with whom the musical guests actually want to jam. This being network TV, the guests run the gamut from Neil Young to Carly Rae Jepsen, whose “Call Me Maybe” with The Roots’ accompaniment on “Classroom Instruments” has got 12 million views to date.

Recreating that childlike magic last night, with Mariah Carey at his side, performing the best-known contemporary Christmas song hands down, poor ol’ Jimmy Fallon could not maintain the tempo to save his life. That kind of breakdown, I can relate to.

The Roots’ drummer and arranger ?uestlove said of the Jepsen cover, “I played a flute that apparently I forgot which end to play it on. So I failed in my debut as a flautist. I failed. But that’s what makes the show fun.” This might explain why Jimmy is equipped with a mallet, snare drum, wood block and tambourine, while ?uest quietly taps on his comb. The fact that Fallon is as good at bungling songs as SNL sketches — well, at canadian pharmacy no prescription least it’s consistent. And you have to respect his willingness to blush this much on TV.

Comedy is a man in trouble.

Lindstrøm's BIG, LONG Drummer Boy

by Paul on November 13, 2012

How Norse he is

Some melodies are like hypnosis. Obviously “Greensleeves” aka “What Child Is This?” has endured through the ages because upon hearing it, nobody can get it out of their goddamn head. Is “Little Drummer Boy” one of those tunes?

Norwegian space-disco artist Hans-Peter Lindstrøm put it to the test. (The slash through the “o” in his name means you pronounce it normally—god knows what a plain “o” sounds like in those parts.) For some reason, Lindstrøm’s 2009 album with singer Christabelle included a bonus disc 42+ minute rendition of “Little Drummer Boy” with the circuitous melody and snare rhythm repeated ad finitum. An attempt at mass hypnosis maybe, or a social experiment disguised as a dance party? The tune gets all kinds of spacey, but by the end it’s so triumphant that you’ll be rooting for this little Drummer kid to Keith-Moon the miniature socks off baby Jesus then and there in the manger, surrounded by Magis dressed like

the rest of The Who. Man, don’t you wish The Who had done a Christmas album, like instead of It’s Hard?

Anyway the Lindstrøm thing works. If somebody can listen to this and not trudge around humming it for a week, let them raise their hand and make history. Surely now the melody will live on, at least in Norway. viagra cheap The UK’s The Telegraph compared it to Philip Glass’s Music in Twelve Parts. And then they called David Bowie and Bing Crosby’s duet version “embarrassing” by comparison. What the hell kind of neophiliac rag is this Telegraph?

So take a listen, but be warned: What this Lindstrøm creep is expecting us to do once hypnotized is anybody’s guess.

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Bonnie 'Prince' Billy Finally Sings a Christmas Song

by Paul on October 9, 2012

Post image for Bonnie 'Prince' Billy Finally Sings a Christmas Song

“Winter comes and snow / I can’t marry you, y’know”
“Wear your skin as my skin / to go out in the snow”

Winter has been a theme in Will Oldham’s music from time immemorial, but the upcoming single “Christmas

Eve Can Kill You” is probably his first official release of a Christmas Song. Paired

with the wintry vocals of Dawn McCarthy (Faun Fables), the song is an Everly Brothers cover, from the Everlys’ own 1971 covers LP Stories We Could Tell, and written by Dennis Linde. The holiday single is a first taste of a complete Everly Brothers-covers LP the duo have recorded.

The original:

Players on the 7″ include two guitar collaborators who have shared top billing on past Bonnie releases, Emmett Kelly (The Cairo Gang) and Matt Sweeney (Superwolf). Dawn McCarthy contributed the most haunting harmonies yet on a Bonnie Billy record, for the Nico Muhly-produced The Letting Go. The whole Everly covers LP remains shrouded in typical mystery.

So far, the single is only available in vinyl format for pre-order from Domino Records UK, but they’ll ship to the USA… for a change.
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We Raised $992 for City Harvest—Thank You!

by Paul on January 17, 2012

We did it. You did it. Raised nearly a thousand dollars for NY hunger rescue charity City Harvest. City Harvest’s unique approach

is to match hungry recipients with nearly-discarded food. They’ve received Charity Navigator’s highest rating of four stars, and it only costs them 27 cents to rescue and deliver a pound of food. A tad shy of last year’s donation, but every bit makes a difference. You can still donate through CityHarvest.org, or via our fundraiser on Razoo.

Thanks to

our bloggers Li, Nicole, Cristy-Lucie, Jason, Ellie, and since we donate our ad revenue, each and every reader. This means you.

The winner of the vintage 1991 Hess truck was the most generous Hank Corwin. Hope your holidays were unbeatable. Same time next year?

"AND NOW IT'S ALL OVER"

by Paul December 26, 2011
Thumbnail image for "AND NOW IT'S ALL OVER"

As usual, Charles Schulz said it best. 364 days to go, people. (via GoComics)

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Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

by Paul December 25, 2011
Thumbnail image for Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

So it’s Christmas. Thank you for reading and contributing to our blog, contributing to the baked goods in our stomachs, and attending the movie screenings this year. We hope your hearts are as warm as ours. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Peace on Earth, in your day-to-day, and especially your day today. I’d like to take [...]

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Crimes Against Ho, Ho, Ho-manity

by Paul December 24, 2011
Thumbnail image for Crimes Against Ho, Ho, Ho-manity

Christmas is a time of giving, a time of loving, and a time where a mound of valuables is conveniently piled in one spot in your house. It is somehow reassuring then that most Christmas criminals are of the Pesci/Stern variety, because on the world’s biggest day off, even a marginally competent jerk could surprise [...]

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Sarah Palin Attacks Bo Obama Holiday Card; Campaign Swings into Christmas Season

by Paul December 23, 2011
Thumbnail image for Sarah Palin Attacks Bo Obama Holiday Card; Campaign Swings into Christmas Season

Having faith in the rapidity of the USPS, the Obamas have sent out their annual Christmas card, picturing Bo, their Portuguese water dog, by the fire. Just as rapidly, Sarah Palin has come out against the Obamas’ Christmas card. Because we live in an era of such exaggerated political enmity that people are opposing Christmas [...]

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